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who you gonna’ call?

Advice over the use of the police emergency and non emergency line over the festive period.

* A woman called police to say she has just bought a kebab and it was cold. The shop would not replace her kebab.

* Callers, who missed their alarm and were going to be late for a flight, wanted officers to take them to the airport.

* A woman called stating that she was angry – she had seen a clown in London selling balloons for £5 each. This price was much more expensive than other clowns selling the same product.

* Callers phoned in distress; they were driving and the low fuel indicator light had come on.

* A man called to say that his 50p coin was stuck in a washing machine at his local launderette and wanted police to retrieve it.

* Man called stating that he didn’t have change for the parking machine. He claimed staff at the car park had kidnapped him because they were refusing to let him out for free.

* “Where is the best place to get a bacon sandwich right now?”; was the question asked to a 999 operator at 04:00hrs on a Saturday.

* A man called 999 as he was advised to call 111 but didn’t know their number.

* A woman called stating that she wanted police to deal with a couple of noisy foxes outside her address as they were preventing her from sleeping.

* A woman called asking for police to attend her property as there were men in her house trying to take her away. The men in question were, in fact, police officers who had attended her address to arrest her.

Source: Advice over 999 use this Christmas

By monaxle

Dad to four boys. Married to their mum. A satisficer. Lifelong cyclist, wannabe nomad, casual snapper and music lover. Occasional glimmers of creativity. Left field, anti establishment and non conformist tendencies. Green politics. Employment in mental health and children and adults social care. Open to learning, development and growth. Often get things wrong. Sometimes getting them right.

Current digital profile along the lines of #Mastodon, #Ubuntu, #NextcloudPi, #Thunderbird, #LibreOffice, #Gimp, #DigiKam, #KeePassXC, #Brave and #StandardNotes. It’s all #foss to me.

Views and opinions are my own or plagiarised and/or paraphrased from elsewhere. Whether these are right, wrong, misinformed or inspired is pretty much down to chance and your own judgement. Be well, be happy, be safe.